


More Lonely than I Am

by Hippielicious



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Force Visions, Hux has a crush, Literal Sleeping Together, Loneliness, M/M, emotionally constipated Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 00:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16821808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hippielicious/pseuds/Hippielicious
Summary: Hux and Kylo must escape a planet after being discovered by Rebels. The Force reveals information about Hux to Kylo.





	More Lonely than I Am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wildfang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfang/gifts).



Kylo Ren had not imagined this mission going so awry.

His plans had not included being found by rebels and chased from planet to planet. His plans had not included hiding their identities. And his plans had _most certainly_ not included holing up with Hux inside a cave as they waited for the rebels to give up.

“You really do come up with the most _brilliant_ plans, Ren,” Hux snarled from across the narrow tunnel. “I would have expected more of a sith who is capable of all that force nonsense!”

“It is not nonsense,” he informed Hux, voice dangerous. “You would do well to hold your tongue, General.”

Hux stiffened, realizing he’d crossed a line, before narrowing his eyes and huffing, “Well, I imagine we’ll be stuck here for the remainder of the night, so I’m going to sleep since there is nothing better to do. Hopefully we are not eaten by the cave cirkaits that are native to this planet.”

Kylo rolled his eyes as Hux turned away from him and rested his head on his pack. Cave cirkaits would not be able to inhabit a cave this small and, furthermore, preferred the flesh of dead creatures because dead animals could not run away. (Cirkaits were not known for their speed.) Kylo was sure Hux already knew this but had simply wanted something to gripe about. He really ought to force-choke that groveling knave more often to teach him some respect for his Supreme Leader.

Force visions were not a phenomenon he experienced often – a gift his grandfather had not passed down to him. So, he was surprised when he suddenly found himself inside a Force vision and was even more surprised when he discovered the subject this dream focused on: Hux.

He was surrounded by chaos – imperial officers and soldiers running around like madmen in what appeared to be an evacuation – and in the middle of that chaos was a small, red-headed child. Though clearly capable of walking, he was unsteady on his feet as he toddled around, looking for something or someone. Kylo followed the child and, through the force, could feel the child’s distress, his fear. “Mama!” he sobbed, face red from tears. “Mama!” he cried again, desperation apparent. Kylo could see Hux heading toward the kitchen where a blonde woman stood.

She appeared surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?” she asked gently. “You need to leave.”

“Come with me, mama.” Tiny fingers gripped the skirts of the kitchen maid as the child buried face in her apron.

“I…can’t, darling,” the woman told him, stroking his hair in a way only a mother could.

This only led to Hux becoming more inconsolable, when an imperial officer entered the kitchen and barked, “Come, Armitage.”

“But, Mama-”

“I don’t care about that whore!” the officer snapped. It was only as the officer came closer to Armitage that Kylo saw the resemblance between the two: this was Brendol Hux, then. “I half-considered leaving you here, too, brat.” He grabbed the bake of Armitage’s shirt and yanked, hard – nearly injuring the skinny child’s neck.

Whatever the child was trying to say was now lost in his wails as Brendol dragged him from the kitchen and the kitchen maid just watched, resigned. As various forces on the base loaded into transports, the base blew up. This appeared to hurt Armitage’s ears but Kylo could almost feel the child’s sheer agony as he realized his mother was dead and he was stuck with his father.

Kylo jolted awake, seeing the early morning son beginning to filter into the cave. Turning his head, he saw Hux was still in a restless sleep – his body having grown too accustomed to sleeping in space. Rising to a hunched position, the cave ceiling too low for him to stand at full height, he peeked out of the cave entrance. The rebel ships could still be seen scanning the surface of the planet, but Kylo figured they’d slow their search in the next few hours – giving the two First Order officers a chance to escape the planet. He decided now was a good time to meditate; no doubt Hux’s buzzing thoughts would be too loud for Kylo to meditate once the other man awoke.

The information he’d obtained through the force could be useful in controlling Hux in the future, he mused. It would be easy enough for him to bring the painful memories to the surface which would distress Hux and, in turn, force the weakling’s obedience. It was easy enough to shove aside the thoughts of the sobbing child from the vision – easy enough to distance himself, remain detached as he did with the now-dead Ben Solo.

“Kriff, how long was I asleep?” a groggy Hux asked after Kylo had meditated around an hour.

“You slept for a full eight hours, general,” Ren replied, tone indifferent.

“You cannot be serious.” Hux’s eyes were wide, horrified at the thought of sleeping for so long or, in his own mind, wasting so much time.

“I am. We have a short while before the rebels give up their search, so extra sleep isn’t problematic.”

Hux, nevertheless, snorted with disdain – mostly aimed at himself – before he set to tidying his appearance. Even in a dusty cave, fleeing their enemies, Hux still couldn’t stand the idea of looking unkempt and while it did little good, he still tried to make himself look presentable.

“We head to the nearest junkyard,” Kylo declared as he and Hux exited the cave.

“A junkyard?” Hux’s lip curled in disgust.

“Yes. There, we will most likely find our mode of transportation to the capital, Zhorora. From there, we must find a way to leave the planet.” Hux appeared dubious of the plan but must have remembered Kylo’s threats from the previous evening, because he kept his mouth shut. “I am capable of repairing virtually any form of spacecraft and ground transportation,” Kylo elaborated, refusing to admit who’d taught him these skills. Hux said nothing, though, so they began to make their way through the rocky, barren canyon.

It wasn’t hot or particularly sunny but after an hour of walking, Hux was, nevertheless, red wherever his skin had been exposed. “You are unused to sunlight, general,” Kylo commented as they climbed a particularly steep slope, natural gravel crumbling under their feet, trickling behind them in their wake. It occurred to Kylo, once again, that Hux should spend more time planetside so his body wasn’t quite so useless on missions such as these.

Hux glared, clearly unhappy with the joke at his expense, though Kylo could also sense that the sunburn was painful for him. “Pfask you, Ren,” Hux sputtered as he momentarily lost his footing, but regained it on his own. He flushed a deeper shade of red in embarrassment and hurriedly looked away from Kylo.

The suns of the planet were setting as the two de facto leaders of the First Order stumbled upon a junkyard. “Only land transport here,” Kylo muttered, internally groaning that he was stuck with Hux on this infernal planet for even longer.

“Well, you’re the one who claimed you could fix any of these pieces of garbage,” Hux hissed. “Get to it, then.”

Dark eyes scanned the various junk heaps for a transport that could be fixed with little-to-no tools or part replacements. Kylo wasn’t particularly eager to dig through garbage all night for parts. Finding something that looked marginally intact, he told Hux, “Give me some light,” before setting to work. As engrossed as he was in the work and the overwhelming nostalgia that inevitably came with it, Kylo didn’t notice how appreciative the general looked when Ren had to take off his shirt. Nor did he notice Hux’s unblinking stare as Kylo continued to sweat from the work, despite having removed all clothing from the upper portion of his body. He was even so lost in his work that he didn’t notice the whisper of longing that came through the force.

“That’s supposed to fit two of us?” Hux asked dubiously once Kylo had finished.

“It is more than capable of carrying both of us.”

“Where do we…sit?” Hux asked, eyeing the single seat.

“We share, of course,” Kylo replied, as if it were obvious. “I’ll drive, you sit behind me and hold on.”

“Onto what?”

“Me.” Kylo replied again, hopping onto the transport and giving Hux an expectant look as the general glowered, then, reluctantly, sat down behind Kylo and wrapped his arms around him.

Hux fought the urge to sink into Kylo’s form. It would be unseemly for the highest-ranking members of the order to be entangled romantically and, furthermore, Hux knew Ren didn’t see him the same way – merely saw him as vermin to be tolerated only while he was useful, but he wouldn’t let this wound him. He’d learned long ago never to allow anyone that power over him, never to become vulnerable to the pain of rejection ever again. They arrived at Zhorora far too soon and Hux reluctantly stepped off the transport. “We won’t be able to obtain a ship at this hour,” he observed.

“We might be able to at a bar. There are often those there who would sell a ship to support their habits, their weaknesses.”

“A shifty lot,” Hux sneered. “Hardly trustworthy.”

“They don’t need to be trustworthy,” Kylo retorted. “Only desperate. You can always trust in desperation.”

They walked into a sleazy dive filled with those Hux deemed as the scum of the galaxy. He ordered himself something strong to drink and rolled his eyes in the corner as he watched Kylo attempting to make deals and failing epically. He slammed back some kind of foreign whiskey before approaching the fifth person Kylo had tried haggling with. “We’ll give you ten thousand credits for the garbage scow you call a ship. You and I both know that’s far more than it’s worth; the extra is for your discretion. You can buy a far better ship with the money and still have extra to spend on your nights here.” It was incredibly rude and Hux could already feel the rage Kylo would inflict on him later, but he leveled a cold gaze with the smuggler, awaiting the answer. “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes.” The smuggler scowled at Hux, but the general didn’t care.

“Good. Give me a few moments and you’ll have the promised payment in cash. In the meantime, show my traveling companion the ship.”

Hux left to obtain more credits from his considerable account. It paid to be a general of the First Order and he wasn’t one to needlessly spend money. He’d certainly demand repayment from Kylo since it was _his_ fault they were stuck on this kriffing planet. Finally – slamming down another glass of the whiskey, which was surprisingly tolerable, given it wasn’t from the First Order – he found Kylo inspecting their escape as the scum who had owned it glowered from only a short distance away.

“Your credits,” Hux announced. “Feel free to count them, if you wish.” The smuggler’s eyes bulged at the credits before quickly shaking his head and scuttling off – likely to spend half of it on useless junk before finally realizing he needed to buy himself another ship. “We’re leaving,” Hux hissed at Kylo as he stumbled onto the ship for their escape. “I don’t know who taught you to haggle, Ren, but you are abysmal.”

The First Order ship wasn’t far and Hux hurried away from the crowd greeting them. He needed to scrub that planet off his skin and scrub the memories of Ren without a shirt from his mind. Deciding the night was lost, anyway, he grabbed a bottle of his own whiskey and brought it into the shower with him. “Pfasking Ren and his Pfasking body,” he muttered, taking another swig after getting clean.

Across the ship, Kylo was attempting to sleep, but the Force was not allowing his mind any rest. Surrounded by darkness, he could only hear a voice in the dream and feel the soul-crushing loneliness of it, the _need_ it felt, the longing. “Want you,” it whispered. “Need you.” He was absolutely inundated by this disembodied voice. “Alone for so long,” it wailed. “Be with me, hold me, touch me, love me.”

Kylo awoke with a sweat and the majority of the dream faded, but he could still feel the entity from the dream through the Force. It was quieter, more subdued than in the dream, but the ocean of loneliness was obvious, screaming through the Force. Kylo stood and followed the voice through the Force to none other than General Hux’s room. For a moment, he stood there without quite comprehending how the heartless general could be the one whose soul cried out to him through the Force. Nevertheless, he pressed the button to alert Hux to his presence. Moments later, Hux answered the door and almost looked his normal self – minus the flush on his face that could have been from sunburn, or crying, or both. “What do you want, Ren?” he demanded.

“Have I ever told you how loud your mind is?”

Hux froze. “No.”

“It’s usually an endless buzzing in the Force, but this is the first time I’ve been able to decipher any coherent message from it. Do you desire me, general?”

Green eyes searched Ren – trying desperately to discover whether Ren was trying to humiliate him or whether it was a genuine question. Figuring he had nothing to lose, the general said, “I have for quite some time.” Of course, given Ren’s penchant for physically and emotionally hurting him, Hux had figured he never had a chance.

“May I enter?”

Whatever Hux had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t this. “Yes,” he whispered as the hulking sith entered Hux’s spartan living quarters. In his whiskey-addled mind, he decided that it was now or never so he kissed Ren, figuring he had nothing to lose at this point.

Kylo was startled by the kiss and the unmistakable scent of booze on the general’s breath. “You’re drunk,” he realized.

“Does it matter?” Hux asked, trying to kiss Ren, again.

“It does.” Kylo didn’t quite know why, but he figured he could show the general a little kindness that night. “You should sleep it off.”

“But I don’t want to,” the ginger insisted.

“I will stay,” he bartered. Hux took a few moments to consider the offer before nodding and stripping for bed. Kylo followed suit and wrapped his arms around Hux as the two of them settled into bed. The general fell asleep fairly quickly and Kylo vaguely hoped Hux wasn’t too drunk to remember what happened because, otherwise, they’d both be in for a rude awakening. “You know, Armitage,” Kylo remarked, just before he, himself, fell asleep. “I think you’re the first person I’ve ever met who is more lonely than I am.”


End file.
